Ex-husbands suck!

I'm failing to realize why there are even child support laws in existance! I know that Breanna loves her father but in terms of him as a human being he's the biggest succubus I know. Here's the scoop or me venting, however you wish to view this. I won't name names but let's just call the him Leech because that is a term that accurately describes him. Leech and I have been divorced for almost 7 years now. His father or mother has paid his child support up until this past December, at which point they collectively decided it was time for Leech to be a big boy and live up to his responsiblity. Well, needless to say, Breanna has not received any form of monetary support from Leech since December 22. Eighty dollars per week is not a lot or at least is doesn't really go far when you have a child who is very active and when there are 3 other children in the household. (My 3 stepchildren receive a check separately from their bio-mom) Did I mention that since we moved I drive 2 hours every other Friday/Sunday to take her and pick her up so that she can see him? (Important detail!) Well three months ago we are called before a judge and the judge gives him 60 days to prove that he medically cannot work or come up with the past due amount. Sixty days flies by and we go back to court two weeks ago. This judge tries to appear harsh but he gives him 10 more days in which to provide proof. Guess what he provides proof. Did I mention that he had told the second judge that he did not have a job, was being evicted from his apt. but he had been working with a personal trainer and his knees (that's what's bothering him, you see) were as good as new. Now there sits a letter waiting to be seen by a judge stating that he cannot work.

Problem

People who are sick cannot do the following:

1. Play softball with an adult team (there is running involved)

2. Go to clubs nightly

3. Go to the gym daily (don't you have to have money to pay for memberships?)

4. Take your daughter to the park and run around the bases

5. Party and have a good time

What will happen next?

I just need to get a grip and let this go. One day the flames will consume him and if he's too stupid to feel them licking his feet and that's something that's out of my hands.

Living in Motherhood

Buddy~the runaway pooch

Memories

Saturday should be a good day. It started off rather ordinarily but that was short lived. My 7 year old step-son decided to go out of the side gate and our two dogs decided to take a romp and stomp round the neighborhood. All of this occuring while my hubby was running errands. As lovely as I looked I rush out of the house to chase the beasts. In the heat of the moment all I could think about was having to call my daughter (who is staying at her dad's this weekend) and say, "You know your beloved little Buddy? Well he's in the great pasture in the sky." That would have been fabulous! My husband drives into the cul de sac to find me driving out like a mad woman in the mini van. He later revealed that he was sure I'd finally lost my noodle and was running away from home. After 20 minutes of looking calling, crying, and getting sooo close only to have Buddy dart at the last possible minute. Sam, on the other hand, decided to come directly to me. I suppose he is the dumb one because he was absolutely oblivious to what I was doing, trying to trap him. Finally with Buddy and Sammy in tow we made it back to the house. To my absolute horror I realized that I was in my pajamas (no bra) and since I was in the process of straightening my hair it frizzy and in a single rubber band on the top of my head. Now, I'm sure that my neighbors loved seeing me in such a state and I'm defintely embarrassed.

But other than that exciting event today was just a depressing kind of day. I didn't even take a nap in the tanning bed like I usually do and when I left to go to the produce market I suddenly choked up and wanted to cry. It was like suddenly a beautiful spring day turned sad for me. I started thinking of my paternal grandfather and wishing that I could just reach out and give him a hug and just sit down and have a conversation. Papa passed away quite suddenly of a heartattack when Bre was not quite 2. Luckily for me we had spent the previous weekend with him and had a very nice time. Because my father was so immature (still is for that matter) I spent most of my childhood bonding with my Papa rather than my father. He was such a wonderful soul that I've yet to meet anyone who could even compare to him. I can say that I never saw him loose his temper or talk harshly to anyone. He had the kind of patience that I can only dream of having. Nostalgia swept over me and even now I'm saddened by the fact that I can't speak to him and tell him about the path that my life has taken. I'm doubly saddened by the fact that he has not been able to see the beautiful young woman that my daughter, Breanna, is turning into.

~sigh~

"Wonderful" Wednesdays.....arghhhhh

Wednesday-hump day! Wow I really feel like I'm just perched on the hump waiting for the wild ride down to Friday. This morning our two dogs (Sam the French bulldog((that's Sammy in the pic)) and Buddy the Rat Terrier Feist) decided to make a raid of the trash can. Guess my lasagna from last night was totally irresistable but geeeesh 4am!! Gimme a break! I even made the comment to my hubby in angry, sleepy grumblings this morning that today would be a bad day. Spring shouldd be a half-way celebratory time for us school teachers but contrary to popular belief spring is one of the busiest times for us especially those who teach special education. Spring is the dreaded time for IEP development and nagging parents to come and meet in order to discuss student progress. Sounds like a piece of cake? I wish life would be so kind. I taught in the same school for 10 years before moving to a new district halfway across the state so I'm having to learn this new districts ways of doing things. Can we say "MIGRAINE?"

I should not really complain about the policies and procedures. I don't have to give norm referenced tests to seventeen students and then score them before getting into the IEP development! But the program that we use to write the IEP's...good lord! I think I actually am starting to develop rug burns on my knees for all of the times that I have cursed one of the other teachers for mucking up the system for the rest of us! I even took the time and tried nicely to explain how this program works so that everyone can use it but nooooooo. We all know when she gets on the system because shortly there after everything goes down! Oh well! Who am I just a new person, that's all! I even explained that the system was so terrible that my previous district boycotted the use of it so they would allow us to go to a program that is more "user" friendly.

The kids have actually been decent this afternoon at home. It finally stopped rained so the boys are outside trying to see who can get the dirtiest before mealtime. I think it'll be Spence because he can look at something dirty and it just jumps up on him. My hubby was in a tizzy over what to have for dinner which ended in me hanging up on him..(Terribly childish, I know). But thanks to my executive decision dinner is in the oven. Honestly I think he's just tired of dish duty and wants to cook to get out of dishes! Oh well there goes the buzzer..time to get back to reality!

Death in a bottle

This past week I found out that one of my students has a dying father. During the beginning of the year this child gave me fits to the point that there were times when he had to be physically restrained because of violent outburts towards his peers. I've never been a proponent of medication but for this child medication was truly a savior. His ADHD was like this gigantic monster that took away not only his ability to sit in one spot for more than 2 minutes but his emotions as well. In the ten years I've been teaching special education I've never come across a child that made me not want to go to work but this one did. (Actually there was another student in the same class but he's just another story entirely!!!!! I won't even begin to go there!) I work for a wonderful district that was able to help this family get the doctor's appointments and medication he truly needed. The father who had been dead set against any kind of medication suddenly had no input. That should have been my first sign that something was not quite right.

One morning I walked in and here sits this child and his mother (she doesn't live with him but still tries to remain active). I'm thinking ok...behavior charts have been working wonderfully, he's been meeting all of his goals....what could it be? I know, she really wants to go with us on this beach trip....No!!!! She approaches me and says that the father is in ICU and the child has not slept, is very upset yet wanted to be at school. I manage to get the child to run an errand for me and she proceeds to tell me that his father is dying... Shock!!! Of? Sciorosis of the liver and heart failure. SHOCK again!!! I mean, I knew that the man was a alcoholic just by the meetings that I had had with him earlier in the year. My lord, he had it written all over him! We talk for a bit and I suggest going to see the counselor because I know the bond between this child and his father is one that is phenomenal. The child comes back to class and the rest of the day is just really touchy for him and it just broke my heart. He's never been one of the "clingy" children that lets you know their every move but on this day he is and several times his eyes start to water and the tears are on the brink of falling.

What do you do? I've been through watching an alocoholic die but it was my grandfather. My grandfather could be a very mean man thanks to the devil in the bottle so my grief can't be compared. My heart bleeds for this child but at the same time I'm angered because his father wouldn't stop drinking long enough to raise this child and now what? I can't imagine being 12 and watching my parent slowly fading away, swelling up, not being able to say I love you, not watching important events pass!!!! It's one thing to lose someone to a tragic, unexpected death but a death that is self inflicted?????? What the hell??? All of this is just out of my realm of understanding. Looking at my own children I just couldn't imagine how they would react and from my perspective I couldn't imagine watching my children have to face such. Which makes me look at my ex husband...HORROR! My daughter may be in this same spot one day because her father drinks a great deal and at 27 was diagnosed with a spot on his liver. But there again you can't compare apples to oranges. The child in my class lives with his father and despite the alcohol the father did provide for him. Bre's father on the other hand won't even get a job to pay her support payments, big difference? I think so! But the impact on the child? SAME!!!!

This ends it for now!

Who am I?

I'm a "newly" married mother of four. Before marrying my second hubby I had one daughter, who was quite the brat. We now collectively have the "Brady" household. As with all families our children have their own personalities and quirks. June 6 will be our one year anniversary as a family! Wow! Sometimes I'm truly amazed that I've survived. My life has totally changed some good and some not so good. There are times when it would be nice to just be able to accept an invitation from the girls to go for a drink or two after work. With soooo many children going sooo many different ways that isn't always an easy task.

Today was one of those days where my hubby and I clashed! (Not a major argument but just enough to get my blood boiling) I've come to realize that I am the perverbial "heavy" in our house. By that I mean I am the one who says "no" and means it and doles out discipline as needed. I wouldn't say that I'm totally unbending but some things just can't let go. He predicts that I will be the one who plays detective and knows their every move as teens. What's wrong with that? Anyway, one of our ten year olds plays the pity party at every turn. She cries when she is confronted, she cries when she doeesn't get her way, etc. Maybe I should be more sympathetic but I don't accept those kinds of tears from my biological child. My husband being the push over that he is gives in 80% of the time. I, on the other hand, tell her to suck it up and get over it. We just had a discussion about the fact that when our four year old son starts to tear up over such trivial things he is always told to dry up the tears or go finish in his room. Same rules should apply, right? Hopefully things will change since I decided to bring this to his attention.

Pictured above: My daughter Bre and Mr. Romance

T.G.I.F