Death in a bottle

This past week I found out that one of my students has a dying father. During the beginning of the year this child gave me fits to the point that there were times when he had to be physically restrained because of violent outburts towards his peers. I've never been a proponent of medication but for this child medication was truly a savior. His ADHD was like this gigantic monster that took away not only his ability to sit in one spot for more than 2 minutes but his emotions as well. In the ten years I've been teaching special education I've never come across a child that made me not want to go to work but this one did. (Actually there was another student in the same class but he's just another story entirely!!!!! I won't even begin to go there!) I work for a wonderful district that was able to help this family get the doctor's appointments and medication he truly needed. The father who had been dead set against any kind of medication suddenly had no input. That should have been my first sign that something was not quite right.

One morning I walked in and here sits this child and his mother (she doesn't live with him but still tries to remain active). I'm thinking ok...behavior charts have been working wonderfully, he's been meeting all of his goals....what could it be? I know, she really wants to go with us on this beach trip....No!!!! She approaches me and says that the father is in ICU and the child has not slept, is very upset yet wanted to be at school. I manage to get the child to run an errand for me and she proceeds to tell me that his father is dying... Shock!!! Of? Sciorosis of the liver and heart failure. SHOCK again!!! I mean, I knew that the man was a alcoholic just by the meetings that I had had with him earlier in the year. My lord, he had it written all over him! We talk for a bit and I suggest going to see the counselor because I know the bond between this child and his father is one that is phenomenal. The child comes back to class and the rest of the day is just really touchy for him and it just broke my heart. He's never been one of the "clingy" children that lets you know their every move but on this day he is and several times his eyes start to water and the tears are on the brink of falling.

What do you do? I've been through watching an alocoholic die but it was my grandfather. My grandfather could be a very mean man thanks to the devil in the bottle so my grief can't be compared. My heart bleeds for this child but at the same time I'm angered because his father wouldn't stop drinking long enough to raise this child and now what? I can't imagine being 12 and watching my parent slowly fading away, swelling up, not being able to say I love you, not watching important events pass!!!! It's one thing to lose someone to a tragic, unexpected death but a death that is self inflicted?????? What the hell??? All of this is just out of my realm of understanding. Looking at my own children I just couldn't imagine how they would react and from my perspective I couldn't imagine watching my children have to face such. Which makes me look at my ex husband...HORROR! My daughter may be in this same spot one day because her father drinks a great deal and at 27 was diagnosed with a spot on his liver. But there again you can't compare apples to oranges. The child in my class lives with his father and despite the alcohol the father did provide for him. Bre's father on the other hand won't even get a job to pay her support payments, big difference? I think so! But the impact on the child? SAME!!!!

This ends it for now!