Kidney Infection....UGHHHHH!!!!! yuCKY!!!!

I should have known something was going wrong yesterday......It felt as if I was going through my eighth month of pregnancy with all of the running to the bathroom. Turns out it's a kidney infection! WooHoo! Thank goodness there is an over the counter medicine now that helps this problem...

On to a more thoughtful (sad) note. On Thursday my great Uncle passed away from a massive heart attack. A little background on the situation first...My parents divorced when I was 4 years old. So most of my life has been one in which my families consisted of two different entities that on rare celebratory occasions those two families came together. My uncle was a member of my father's side of the family, mind you, but on Saturday after the funeral was all done (two hours away from where I live currently) my mother called to tell me the news. This was a blow to my heart because this man was very near and dear to my heart. He never married but always had time for the children in the family when we would visit. I'm currently having issues related to my father. He has totally cut me out of his life as have I with him. My mother is very upset because she feels that she started a "war" of sorts between "Harry" and myself. She said that it broke her heart that I refuse to call him dad anymore. I feel alienated and disconnected from him and have for quite some time now. It has given me some sort of inner peace to be able to disconnect and realize that I do not have to strive for his love and affection from this point forward. My therapist will have a lot to listen to during my visit in February!!!!

I can almost hear my paternal grandmother now...."You know that relationships are a two-way street and you need to make more efforts to build a bridge with your father." Okay I have tried to build that bridge with no success...Every phone conversation has been made by myself and those conversations generally end up with him being overly critical of decisions being made by my husband and myself. My mother's statement was that I need to concentrate on all the people in my life (actively participating) and the people that make my life worth living. I've prayed about my relationship with the "sperm donor" and I've yet to feel that I have any answers. I have spent a great majority of my life desiring the love of "Harry" only to reach utter failure and it is not a path that I choose to seek thus far. I feel as if the ball is in his court and he can do with it as he pleases. I am not going to sit and mope around waiting for the impossible....

Student's First Day Back

Winter break is officially over and the little chaps have returned to school. In their return the majority of them have totally lost their ever-loving minds. Why is it that a week and a half at home with mummy and daddy has turned them into freaking wild beasts?!?!?!?!?!? My students who all have special needs are creatures of habit and routine. The break serves as a time for them to become familiar to their household routines and our school routines are quickly forgotten...Then two and a half weeks later it's time to start over and build the routines that we had established prior to break. I could tell who had been allowed to their own devices of self-stimulation and those who had been kept in a certain pattern. In a slight few there was definite evidence of eye poking and nipple twisting just to name a few...My thought was "here we go again!" Just what we had tried to put an end to before the holiday!!!!!

On a lighter note it is after all our 89th day of school which means we are almost over the hump!!!!! Thus leaving us with 91 days to go!!!! Woo hoo!!! Can't you tell I'm trying to psych myself up about this!!! Although on the bright side this school year has been phenomenal compared to last year. I was the new kid on the block, newly married, and with a younger group of children. This year I have slipped into a routine with a group that has more severe needs but also have less behavior problems, particularly in the area of being disrespectful which I must say is a plus in many ways.

Blinkies from Funtasticprofiles.com

The teacher's first day back after winter break

Yesterday I was looking forward to going back to work and finishing out the last half of the school year. After actually going back and sitting through meetings that really have nothing to do with special education I realized that I was ready for another vacation.... How sad is that?!?!?!?! In past I have received many e-mails hailing the work that we teachers do on a daily basis but those e-mails are meaningless until our governments and the rest of the population realize what a valuable service we do provide. Being in the state of South Carolina I live in a "right to work" state. In short this means that if you want to work you can but there is no union to protect you from being taken advantage of by the system. I'm not one who would encourage a protest or strike but sometimes it would be nice to feel as if wrongs could be righted. My state and federal government has passed new laws which have added days to my work but yet have failed to increase my salary. They have further made requirements for me to be highly qualified to do my job because obviously my training at university and master's degree is not sufficient. I understand the need to be highly qualified due to the fact that we are grooming young people to become the future leaders of our country. The rights of students are protected and the rights of parents are protected but yet when and how are my rights protected????? To make matters worse I teach special education which means all of the red tape and falling upon the radar of Mr. Bush's "No Child Left Behind" I realize that the rights of students with special needs have to be protected and preserved. Honestly though my students have severe disabilities and for our government to state that my students will eventually graduate and receive a diploma is not realistic. I would welcome the prescence of any government official in my classroom to realize that I work on basic life skills. These life skills ranging from being able to express sickness, self-toileting, etc. Reading, writing, and math have to take a backseat in order for me to address basic communication skills especially for my non-verbal students. I realize that life is not fair and that there will always be inequitites but jeeezzzz compensate me a bit more for my time and effort. It has been rumored that eventually teachers will be paid for the quality of work they do...How may I ask can that be done?????? I work with a group of people that come in early, stay late, and then additionally come in on their days off just to ensure that our students, din an area where poverty is the norm, get the best damn education they can possibly have. I taught in a bigger district that had more money before being where I am at now and I there is a remarkable difference between the way students are treated.....In the poorer district students are valued and the teachers one and all go the extra mile to make sure that they learn and not just for the sake of getting better PACT scores.....

Ok OK I'll hop down from my soap box...I just needed to vent....I love my job and my children but work has gotten so stressful that I have had to seek counsel from a psychiatrist just to have a grasp on my sanity and be the best I can be on my job!!!!!

Merry Christmas...Thank the Lord it's over and done with and now we can look to the New Year with hope and wonder!!!! Currently my hubby is cleaning the kitchen from our strange and mixed-up New Year's day meal. I can't say that I can cook as well, or even as close, as my Nan but I'm getting there. Being away from home and not having those comfort foods among other things has not been an easy adjustment but I'm learning to bring what I knew as home into my new home. I'm not going to lie and say that I am this culinary genious but I'm learning. It wouldn't have been New Year's Day without black eyed peas and collard greens and they were actually pretty close to my Nan's recipe. See Mom I can cook!!!!

The best for last......My hubby and the mixed up crab legs!!!!

All in all 2006 was a pretty good year and now we are all left to ponder what to do with 2007. Tomorrow my ex-mother in-law will be invading to decorate Bre's room which is nerve wrecking in iteself but this too shall pass. I'm not going to worry about what she thinks of my house and it's current condition. I live in a house occupied by 6 people with 4 of those being little people that are constantly leaving disaster in their paths. Everything will be ok...Deep cleansing breaths!!!!!!